"Ah, c'mon. It's not that bad. Think of it like...a chance for peace and quiet." This might be better if he'd stop grinning. "Lot of people like to get some reading done while they're in the crapper. Catch up on the news, practice a joke. I hear some people even pray."

Dean did, once, when he was fourteen and had food poisoning and had been sure he was going to die. He'd sworn off jacking off for a month if god would just spare his life.

God did, but Dean hadn't kept up his end of the bargain.