inonebasket | (no subject)

"Cas! Cas--wait!" Why can't Cas just get it why does this have to be so hard

Dean reaches across the table to grab his wrist and yank him back down. "Just. Just sit. You don't--have to bring attention to everything, okay? Let this one go. Sam'll pretend he didn't hear anything and I'll...get over it. Probably."

Castiel doesn't look particularly convinced -and who can blame him because that was kind of weak- but he obediently sits back down and, after sending Dean look, returns to his dinner. Really, Dean, you get hung up on the strangest things. And then you get upset when Cas tries to fix them! How is Cas supposed to accommodate you when you're always so contrary?

Welcome to humanity, Cas. It tends to be contrary. And now Dean is thinking that it wouldn't kill Cas to be contrary from time to time.

"So I've got a question for you. If angels are these sexless, dickless, wonder beings, what the hell do you do if you find another angel you...y'know. Wanna get closer to?"

Cas is going to talk about this like it's completely normal to discuss angel sex over burgers and fries. "We don't have physical forms in the same sense that mortals do. The need for physical closeness doesn't exist; instead we have a sort of metaphysical closeness that I suppose could be translated into coitus. It introduces the same feelings of euphoria and bliss between the parties involved, but without the carnal act of passing fluids between two bodies."

"So what, angels have hands-free orgasms? Neat." He shoves the rest of his burger into his mouth.

Sure, like that. "Very few angels engage in sexual activity. It's seen as superfluous." Like way, way back in the day when there was very little to do, before Lucifer fell, sometimes a few angels did the nasty just to see what it was like. But after that it was all 'prophecy this' and 'prophecy that' and Heaven became very, very structured and angels did a lot less rejoicing and praising of the Lord God their Father and a lot more fighting and guarding. But, then, that was what God had supposedly commanded of them. No more celebration after Lucifer fell.

Castiel hardly remembers the times from before Lucifer's betrayal. He'd been very, very young. Most of the younger angels didn't even know much about their version of sex, but Castiel had always been abnormally (discouragingly, his superiors told him) curious before the fighting began and made a point to find out.

"But they do engage? Sometimes?

Dean considers that, sucking up the rest of his milkshake while he thinks.

"So that whole thing where you want to get laid. That might not go away, the more of your mojo you get back?"

Cas chews slowly and actually swallows his food before he speaks this time, voice deadpan. "Dean, when I said 'few angels' I meant very few. Once every hundred million years or so. The thirst for sex, it isn't natural for angels." The fact that Dean banged Anna was actually kind of freakish, as she was one of the ones who had shown absolutely zero interest in sex. Balthazar and Gabriel, well. They had been the odd balls of the crew, they and Lucifer. Castiel blamed their Earthbound sexual escapades on becoming very comfortable within their vessels, which was known to happen.

"You seemed to like the idea of it, even when you were all powered up. I mean, even the brothel, you just kinda seemed nervous about the idea." Nervous. Terrified. Scared of tits. On the other hand, he'd been pretty enthusiastic about kissing Meg, though he'd been mostly fallen at that point. "Maybe you're one of the few, huh?"

Mostly, Dean is pushing the issue, because he's trying to figure out how long he has to figure himself out and he wants to make sure that if it takes him a while, it won't be for nothing.

Actually Cas is one of the few and he already knows it. He just doesn't want to get his hopes up. "It's possible."

And he's not scared of tits! He's scared of the stranger they were attached to. There were rules of engagement that he didn't know and Dean threw him out into the water without a raft. Of course he was scared.

"Well okay then. Angel sex. Hands-free orgasm. Could be interesting."

And that's how Dean is announcing that he's okay with trying this...whatever it is they have going on. By proclaiming its potential interestingness.

"You gonna stop sleeping on the floor now?"

For one moment of sheer, blinding panic, Castiel thinks Dean is proposing they have sex that night.

"What? Cas, what? You look like you just got stabbed."

"Dean-" Words.

"I'm not sure we should move so quickly with our relationship considering the fact that-" Y'know, considering that he's new to this whole thing, slagoaisuboiausdf but Dean it's Dean augh Dean why did you break him

that was cruel of you

"What? I'm just asking you to stop breaking your neck by sleeping on the floor!"

Oh.

Oh.

"Cas, I'm not asking you to have sex."

Oh good. ...Good?

Look, when you say in one sentence 'I like orgasms' and you say in the next 'so you're not sleeping on the floor this time right' what kind of conclusion is the man-angel-thing who wants to bang you supposed to make? Really? Seriously?

Cas sighs and shakes his head, pushing the rest of his food away. "No, I won't sleep on the floor tonight." Or he won't try to. For some reason he just always ends up there anyway.

Yes. Yes, he realizes that now and he's very sorry to have startled Castiel like that. Oops.

"Good, because that is uncomfortable and I'm not doing it again." Except if Cas ends up on the floor, Dean will, too.

"You don't need to join me, Dean. I'm perfectly capable of sleeping alone."

Confession time.

"I sleep better when he share. I don't dream."

...oh.

Cas watches Dean for a moment before standing up, heading over to the beds and pulling the small nightstand from between them out into the middle of the room. He then attempts to start pushing the two beds together; luckily these aren't bolted down, like they usually are in motel rooms. Then again they're kind of old and crappy, there can't be a lot of people who'd steal a bed like this anyway.

Well, that's stupid. The beds are big enough for them to share. Or not, since Dean is kind of a sprawler. Cas has a good idea here. Dean gets up and sets his shoulder against his bed, shoving it hard. It might break, but whatever. Worst case, they'll just drag the mattresses off the bed and do things that way.

Yeah, if it wasn't obvious to Sam what they were up to before, it is now. He'll probably think they spent all night going at it like rabbits. Cas doesn't care -even if he was the type to care, he still wouldn't care- and once they finally get the mattresses side-by-side he untucks the blankets and spreads them out over both beds. There.

The silence feels very weighted, but Castiel doesn't think there's anything to say. He touches Dean's arm, a hand against his forearm that slides down onto and off of his wrist as he steps away and back over to their food spread out on the table.

For some ridiculous, completely inexplicable reason, that makes Dean's mouth go dry. Without another word to Cas, he grabs the Impala's keys and stalks outside. That other bottle of Jack in the trunk is going to be his, because Dean suddenly needs very much to not think about touching Cas.

When Dean comes back inside he'll see Cas quietly starting on his second burger, because 'I'm fine' and 'I guess I could eat maybe' translates into 'I'm starving half to death' in Castielish. He glances up, eyes flicking to the bottle in hand before he decides to ignore it and starts on his own milkshake.

...wow that is good. Probably even better than sex.

It is not. Only sex is better than sex.

Dean sits on the bed. Flops backwards. Props himself up on some pillows so he can drink without choking and watch Cas eat at the same time. "I knew you were hungry. Just admit it next time."