inonebasket | (no subject)

Dean reaches out and slings an arm around Castiel's shoulders, dragging him in to close what little space is between them, hugging him tight.

"Don't you leave me again, you got that? Don't do it."

Cas can't promise he won't -things happen, he just can't- but God, he never, ever wants to. Not ever again. He wraps his arms around Dean and presses his mouth to his shoulder, closing his eyes. Dean hugs like how Cas has always imagined a family would.

They're interrupted by a knock and a call of, "Delivery," from behind the door. Cas is tempted to ignore it, but pulls back and allows Dean to pay for their dinner. "Do you want me to get Sam?"

The return hug is good enough for Dean.

He grabs his wallet and pays for dinner, tipping the delivery guy generously. Hey, he's in a good mood. So sue him.

"Get Sam, but if he's already asleep, don't wake him up. More for us." Dean's already yanking food out of the bag and laying it out on the table. Oh man, this is gonna be good. Exactly what the doctor prescribed.

God, these milkshakes are thick. They're better than sex.

He's in a good mood and that money is probably the result of a crooked pool game anyway. The delivery kid lights up because he probably gets tipped once every ten houses and books it as if he's afraid Dean will change his mind.

Sam is right behind him, collects his dinner, makes some excuse about wanting to research while refusing to look at Cas and Dean and ducks back into his room, red-faced.

Cas looks over at Dean very seriously. "Sam seemed uncomfortable."

Totally the result of a crooked pool game.

Dean looks back at Cas, almost as red-faced as his brother was. He knew the walls were thin. Knew it.

Cas doesn't get it.

He sits down and digs into his first carnivore special. Damn, he loves red meat sfm.

No. Cas clearly doesn't get it.

Dean clears his throat and sits down, grabbing his burger and milkshake. He's just going to focus on his food and try to ignore the fact that his brother heard them.

Dean isn't making his usual spectacle of himself as he eats; groans of appreciation, exclamations of 'oh my fucking god this burger is better than a blowjob,' so on and so forth. Cas chews idly, takes another bite and talks around his food. "What's wrong?"

NO.

BECAUSE.

"What?" He shoves another bite into his mouth, actually chewing most of it before he answers. "Nothing's wrong, unless you count the fact that I'm pretty sure Sam heard us."

"Ah." Yyyyeah, still not getting it. What's the problem again?

He's going to have to explain it, isn't he?

"Look, Cas. There is a very, very small group of people who like it when other people listen in on them when they're...doing things. Of a sexual nature." Oh god, this is uncomfortable. "I'm not one of them, okay? And even if I was, I wouldn't want my brother to listen in."

Oh, all right, Cas can get behind that. He puts down what's left of his quad-stacker burger (it has four patties, FOUR OF THEM) and stands up. "I understand. I'll go ask Sam not to listen to any questionable sounds he may hear from our room."

TO THE DOOR

"Cas! Cas--wait!" Why can't Cas just get it why does this have to be so hard

Dean reaches across the table to grab his wrist and yank him back down. "Just. Just sit. You don't--have to bring attention to everything, okay? Let this one go. Sam'll pretend he didn't hear anything and I'll...get over it. Probably."

Castiel doesn't look particularly convinced -and who can blame him because that was kind of weak- but he obediently sits back down and, after sending Dean look, returns to his dinner. Really, Dean, you get hung up on the strangest things. And then you get upset when Cas tries to fix them! How is Cas supposed to accommodate you when you're always so contrary?

Welcome to humanity, Cas. It tends to be contrary. And now Dean is thinking that it wouldn't kill Cas to be contrary from time to time.

"So I've got a question for you. If angels are these sexless, dickless, wonder beings, what the hell do you do if you find another angel you...y'know. Wanna get closer to?"

Cas is going to talk about this like it's completely normal to discuss angel sex over burgers and fries. "We don't have physical forms in the same sense that mortals do. The need for physical closeness doesn't exist; instead we have a sort of metaphysical closeness that I suppose could be translated into coitus. It introduces the same feelings of euphoria and bliss between the parties involved, but without the carnal act of passing fluids between two bodies."

"So what, angels have hands-free orgasms? Neat." He shoves the rest of his burger into his mouth.

Sure, like that. "Very few angels engage in sexual activity. It's seen as superfluous." Like way, way back in the day when there was very little to do, before Lucifer fell, sometimes a few angels did the nasty just to see what it was like. But after that it was all 'prophecy this' and 'prophecy that' and Heaven became very, very structured and angels did a lot less rejoicing and praising of the Lord God their Father and a lot more fighting and guarding. But, then, that was what God had supposedly commanded of them. No more celebration after Lucifer fell.

Castiel hardly remembers the times from before Lucifer's betrayal. He'd been very, very young. Most of the younger angels didn't even know much about their version of sex, but Castiel had always been abnormally (discouragingly, his superiors told him) curious before the fighting began and made a point to find out.

"But they do engage? Sometimes?

Dean considers that, sucking up the rest of his milkshake while he thinks.

"So that whole thing where you want to get laid. That might not go away, the more of your mojo you get back?"

Cas chews slowly and actually swallows his food before he speaks this time, voice deadpan. "Dean, when I said 'few angels' I meant very few. Once every hundred million years or so. The thirst for sex, it isn't natural for angels." The fact that Dean banged Anna was actually kind of freakish, as she was one of the ones who had shown absolutely zero interest in sex. Balthazar and Gabriel, well. They had been the odd balls of the crew, they and Lucifer. Castiel blamed their Earthbound sexual escapades on becoming very comfortable within their vessels, which was known to happen.

"You seemed to like the idea of it, even when you were all powered up. I mean, even the brothel, you just kinda seemed nervous about the idea." Nervous. Terrified. Scared of tits. On the other hand, he'd been pretty enthusiastic about kissing Meg, though he'd been mostly fallen at that point. "Maybe you're one of the few, huh?"

Mostly, Dean is pushing the issue, because he's trying to figure out how long he has to figure himself out and he wants to make sure that if it takes him a while, it won't be for nothing.

Actually Cas is one of the few and he already knows it. He just doesn't want to get his hopes up. "It's possible."

And he's not scared of tits! He's scared of the stranger they were attached to. There were rules of engagement that he didn't know and Dean threw him out into the water without a raft. Of course he was scared.

"Well okay then. Angel sex. Hands-free orgasm. Could be interesting."

And that's how Dean is announcing that he's okay with trying this...whatever it is they have going on. By proclaiming its potential interestingness.

"You gonna stop sleeping on the floor now?"

For one moment of sheer, blinding panic, Castiel thinks Dean is proposing they have sex that night.

"What? Cas, what? You look like you just got stabbed."