inonebasket | (no subject)

yes that is exactly why

'Rules are different with you.' Gosh, Dean, that's about the nicest thing a guy's ever said to Cas. ...no really, it is. Cas tilts his head, but nods, reassured. Dean's being honest.

He slides his hand down to grip the neck of the bottle, slumping into the chair across from Dean in a very clumsy, very human kind of way as he takes a swig of Jack. It's so strange- his emotions are just so strong when he's mortal, and sometimes he has to wonder how humans manage to function with all those feelings mucking shit up. Right now, though, it's okay, because right now Castiel feels stupidly and absurdly happy.

Mostly, they don't function. Or Dean doesn't. He just stumbles through and hopes he doesn't screw things up irreparably.

He slouches on the edge of the bed, watching Cas slumped in the chair. It feels good to see him a little happier than he's been. Cas isn't exactly known for smiling, so when it happens, it lightens Dean's heart a little bit. Or a lot. He finds himself smiling, too.

"It's good having your around again."

"I would have made the attempt to find you if I'd thought you wanted to see me," Cas says, taking another gulp before holding the bottle out for Dean to take. "But I'd thought it was best if you didn't know."

"Cas, I had nightmares about you. I was dreaming about you dying, getting dragged into hell--there was nothing I wanted as bad as knowing you were okay. I wanted to look for you, but I didn't know where to start or...or if there was any point." Dean takes the bottle and--screw it--finishes it off.

"I was pissed. I'm still pissed. But I'd rather be pissed off at somebody that's here"

Ugh, feelings go away, stop complicating this conversation to hell and back. "I'm sorry, Dean. I am." Castiel just hadn't thought he was that important to you.

"Yeah, I know. You already said that part." He chucks the now empty bottle into the trash and stands up, gesturing. "C'mere."

The order is a little vague so Cas stands up and walks over toward Dean. Hopefully he'll get a hint as to when he should stop his approach, because otherwise he'll just keep going until there's like two inches of air between them and that's it.

Dean reaches out and slings an arm around Castiel's shoulders, dragging him in to close what little space is between them, hugging him tight.

"Don't you leave me again, you got that? Don't do it."

Cas can't promise he won't -things happen, he just can't- but God, he never, ever wants to. Not ever again. He wraps his arms around Dean and presses his mouth to his shoulder, closing his eyes. Dean hugs like how Cas has always imagined a family would.

They're interrupted by a knock and a call of, "Delivery," from behind the door. Cas is tempted to ignore it, but pulls back and allows Dean to pay for their dinner. "Do you want me to get Sam?"

The return hug is good enough for Dean.

He grabs his wallet and pays for dinner, tipping the delivery guy generously. Hey, he's in a good mood. So sue him.

"Get Sam, but if he's already asleep, don't wake him up. More for us." Dean's already yanking food out of the bag and laying it out on the table. Oh man, this is gonna be good. Exactly what the doctor prescribed.

God, these milkshakes are thick. They're better than sex.

He's in a good mood and that money is probably the result of a crooked pool game anyway. The delivery kid lights up because he probably gets tipped once every ten houses and books it as if he's afraid Dean will change his mind.

Sam is right behind him, collects his dinner, makes some excuse about wanting to research while refusing to look at Cas and Dean and ducks back into his room, red-faced.

Cas looks over at Dean very seriously. "Sam seemed uncomfortable."

Totally the result of a crooked pool game.

Dean looks back at Cas, almost as red-faced as his brother was. He knew the walls were thin. Knew it.

Cas doesn't get it.

He sits down and digs into his first carnivore special. Damn, he loves red meat sfm.

No. Cas clearly doesn't get it.

Dean clears his throat and sits down, grabbing his burger and milkshake. He's just going to focus on his food and try to ignore the fact that his brother heard them.

Dean isn't making his usual spectacle of himself as he eats; groans of appreciation, exclamations of 'oh my fucking god this burger is better than a blowjob,' so on and so forth. Cas chews idly, takes another bite and talks around his food. "What's wrong?"

NO.

BECAUSE.

"What?" He shoves another bite into his mouth, actually chewing most of it before he answers. "Nothing's wrong, unless you count the fact that I'm pretty sure Sam heard us."

"Ah." Yyyyeah, still not getting it. What's the problem again?

He's going to have to explain it, isn't he?

"Look, Cas. There is a very, very small group of people who like it when other people listen in on them when they're...doing things. Of a sexual nature." Oh god, this is uncomfortable. "I'm not one of them, okay? And even if I was, I wouldn't want my brother to listen in."

Oh, all right, Cas can get behind that. He puts down what's left of his quad-stacker burger (it has four patties, FOUR OF THEM) and stands up. "I understand. I'll go ask Sam not to listen to any questionable sounds he may hear from our room."

TO THE DOOR

"Cas! Cas--wait!" Why can't Cas just get it why does this have to be so hard

Dean reaches across the table to grab his wrist and yank him back down. "Just. Just sit. You don't--have to bring attention to everything, okay? Let this one go. Sam'll pretend he didn't hear anything and I'll...get over it. Probably."

Castiel doesn't look particularly convinced -and who can blame him because that was kind of weak- but he obediently sits back down and, after sending Dean look, returns to his dinner. Really, Dean, you get hung up on the strangest things. And then you get upset when Cas tries to fix them! How is Cas supposed to accommodate you when you're always so contrary?

Welcome to humanity, Cas. It tends to be contrary. And now Dean is thinking that it wouldn't kill Cas to be contrary from time to time.

"So I've got a question for you. If angels are these sexless, dickless, wonder beings, what the hell do you do if you find another angel you...y'know. Wanna get closer to?"

Cas is going to talk about this like it's completely normal to discuss angel sex over burgers and fries. "We don't have physical forms in the same sense that mortals do. The need for physical closeness doesn't exist; instead we have a sort of metaphysical closeness that I suppose could be translated into coitus. It introduces the same feelings of euphoria and bliss between the parties involved, but without the carnal act of passing fluids between two bodies."

"So what, angels have hands-free orgasms? Neat." He shoves the rest of his burger into his mouth.

Sure, like that. "Very few angels engage in sexual activity. It's seen as superfluous." Like way, way back in the day when there was very little to do, before Lucifer fell, sometimes a few angels did the nasty just to see what it was like. But after that it was all 'prophecy this' and 'prophecy that' and Heaven became very, very structured and angels did a lot less rejoicing and praising of the Lord God their Father and a lot more fighting and guarding. But, then, that was what God had supposedly commanded of them. No more celebration after Lucifer fell.

Castiel hardly remembers the times from before Lucifer's betrayal. He'd been very, very young. Most of the younger angels didn't even know much about their version of sex, but Castiel had always been abnormally (discouragingly, his superiors told him) curious before the fighting began and made a point to find out.