inonebasket | (no subject)

Sometimes, the deadpan expression on Cas' face is kind of entertaining.

"Okay, fine, I'll try."

"Then I promise to also try." But seriously, he wants to make out with you Dean. You're going to have to get a little more persuasive than some teenage backing away and babbling to turn Cas off of the idea.

No. No he's not. Because they are having a discussion about serious things and Cas has clearly forgotten all about that whole making out thing.

"Good enough for me."

"Good."

Maybe Cas trying to kiss him again will make it a little more obvious.

The only thing that's making obvious is Cas kissing him.

On the upside, he hasn't decked Cas yet.

Cas is too much of a creepy alien thing to pick up on social cues, so the fact that Dean isn't actively engaging doesn't really throw up any red flags for him. He'll just keep kissing him and he'll also bury a hand in Dean's hair. That seemed to go over well with Meg, anyway.

It goes over less well with Dean. In fact, it's what finally gets him to move, reaching back and yanking Cas' hand away.

"Dude!"

A little warning, please!

"What?" What is your malfunction.

"We've already been over this! You can't just up and lay one on me out of nowhere!"

"Ah. Yes, of course." Right. That weirds him out. Okay, trying a different approach.

"Dean, in approximately five seconds, I am going to return to my previous action." There, that's enough warning, isn't it? Cas leans in to do as promised.

"Cas just--wait--just wait, okay?" Dean puts both hands on Cas' shoulders, pushing him back for a second. "Look. I'm a guy, okay? And so are you."

"I'm a sexless celestial being currently inhabiting the human body of a male born into a society deeply entrenched in absurdly suffocating gender roles." So yeah, both guys.

"Wow." How does he respond to that.

"Is that going to be a problem?" The sad thing is that the question is entirely honest. Not even a hint of sass anywhere in Castiel's tone.

"Cas, you do know I don't... do guys, right?" Because Dean is a red-blooded, straight, American male, gosh darn it! He likes tits and Cas!

--Ass! Tits and ass!

"It would have been preferable for me to choose a female vessel?" Still not quite. Getting it. What is the problem? Is it the penis?

Edited 2011-11-24 06:52 (UTC)

"What--No. You wouldn't be...you. Not in another body."

It's the penis. And also it's Dean. Dean is his own problem.

"Then I don't understand. Should I stop?" He really doesn't want to, but if Dean isn't going to be chill with it it's not like he'll rape the guy. That's what the greek gods do, and nobody likes those assholes.

"Stop--" Dean shuts his eyes and sucks in a deep breath. "Okay, for one thing, you suck at this. Porn is like...the ultimate, hands down worst place to get your sex ed."

Fuck you, Meg liked it.

Cas sits back on his heels and frowns. "Then how should I proceed?"

Meg was a demon. She'd probably have liked anything.

"First off? No hair grabbing. Dudes don't do that to other dudes." He can't believe he's saying any of this.

Cas nods, committing this to memory. No hair grabbing, got it. "Where should I place my hands?"

"Wherever, I guess. I don't know, Cas, I've never made out with another guy before, what do I look like to you?" Seriously. Seriously, Cas. Does Dean look gay. "Just don't think about it. Let your damn hands do whatever they want to do."

Well the fullness of his lips does imply a few things...

"Dean, my hands do what I direct them to. I don't know how to 'let them do what they want.'" Seriously Dean, he captains this Earthship with an iron fist. The only time he's let it do what it wants, he buried a crowbar into a Leviathan's skull.

No they don't shut up

Dean groans. Why does Cas always have to make things so difficult?

"Then put them in your lap and if you feel like putting them somewhere else, do it. Except for the hair. Don't touch the hair." Man, Dean is remembering why he desperately wanted Cas to lighten up ages ago. He needs it, poor guy is so freaking uptight.

"I mean it. Relax. Go with the flow. It's not gonna kill you to let your brain shut off for a while." It won't kill Dean either. Probably.