inonebasket | (no subject)

"If this bothers you, you don't have to worry. As I begin to recover my Grace, these urges will diminish in intensity until they are easily ignored."

That right there is normal, prim and proper Cas. As reassuring as it is, Dean actually doesn't like it all that much.

"So I guess once you've got your mojo back, you'll head back upstairs, huh." Deflect, deflect! Change the subject!

"No." Castiel folds his hands in his lap. "My place is here on Earth now, with you and Sam. Heaven is no longer my home."

That didn't have the expected effect.

"But you'll be an angel again, once we pick up all your Grace."

"Yes."

And for his crimes, he'll be hunted and despised and will probably suffer another slow, agonizing Fall.

No he won't. Heads will roll if anyone makes Cas suffer again. Dean included.

"You could just...not pick it up."

"No." Buddy, that option isn't even on the table. "To refuse an advantage like that would be incredibly foolish. I'm picking it up."

But!

"I'm just sayin', you get your mojo back, heaven's gonna know you're here. What if Raphael's still up there and out for your blood? What then? You might have more holy oil, but Sam and me, we're tapped out. And I am not asking Crowley for help."

His knees are starting to hurt from all this sitting on the floor together, but he's not moving yet. Dean has no real idea why it's so important to him that Castiel is protected, it just is, and he needs to make sure that mojo or not, Castiel can be protected.

Cas is quiet for a moment and actually looks away from Dean's face, gaze drifting to the side. He's getting that cornered feeling again, the one that made him deal with Crowley in the first place. "I understand the risks. But first, we need to survive the Leviathan. Our chances increase greatly if I have my strength back."

"Your strength and Sam's Pine-Sol." He snaps his fingers to get Castiel to look at him again. "But I mean it, Cas, don't take any risks you don't have to. Freaks me out, man."

He's trying for jokey nonchalance. It's probably not working.

"I never take risks that I don't feel I have to." He hasn't ever. Not once. Cas is almost the complete opposite from Dean in that every single risk he takes has been weighed, agonized and prayed over, analyzed from ever angle and selected as the best -sometimes only- course of action.

Even if later, it turns out to be the worst, Cas goes into it thinking it's the best.

"Then at least promise me if I tell you to do something--or not do it--you'll listen to me." Dean's not actually expecting that promise. It just feels like the right thing to say. Sort of.

"I can't make that promise."

"Yeah." It's Dean's turn to look away, staring at a spot on the floor a few inches to the right of Castiel's hip. "Yeah, I didn't think you could, but it was worth asking."

"You're too self-sacrificing." Castiel touches Dean's leg to pull his attention back in. "If you were to tell me to run to save myself, to leave you behind in danger, I wouldn't do it."

"Wanting the people I care about to stay safe isn't self-sacrificing, it's selfish. You and Sam and Bobby, you're all I've got. Can't blame me for wanting to keep you all in one piece."

"No. I suppose I can't." Because Cas is the exact same way, and he'll do anything to keep Dean in one piece. Sam too, though he'd dropped the ball spectacularly on that one.

...God, but Cas wants to kiss Dean again. He wonders if Dean will freak out like he had earlier or if he was over the shock yet. He's probably over it.

He's over it, it'll just come right back if Cas lays another one on him. Hm. Dean might have a tiny bit of internalized homophobia. Maybe.

"At least we're on the same page. How 'bout this, I won't take stupid risks if you don't."

You must think he was born yesterday. "You wouldn't be able to do that if you tried."

Sometimes, the deadpan expression on Cas' face is kind of entertaining.

"Okay, fine, I'll try."

"Then I promise to also try." But seriously, he wants to make out with you Dean. You're going to have to get a little more persuasive than some teenage backing away and babbling to turn Cas off of the idea.

No. No he's not. Because they are having a discussion about serious things and Cas has clearly forgotten all about that whole making out thing.

"Good enough for me."

"Good."

Maybe Cas trying to kiss him again will make it a little more obvious.

The only thing that's making obvious is Cas kissing him.

On the upside, he hasn't decked Cas yet.

Cas is too much of a creepy alien thing to pick up on social cues, so the fact that Dean isn't actively engaging doesn't really throw up any red flags for him. He'll just keep kissing him and he'll also bury a hand in Dean's hair. That seemed to go over well with Meg, anyway.