inonebasket | (no subject)

"No. No, Cas, see, that's the thing. I don't." Dean doesn't pull away, but he's tense, shoulders tight. "Cas, I don't. I almost got you killed earlier, god knows how many times I've done that. I--I couldn't even save you from you and you were...you were gone. You were gone and then you came back and three hours ago you were almost gone again."

Shut the hell up, Dean. Cas is going to kiss you now.

Dean jerks away like he's been burned and breathing like he just ran a marathon.

Oh-

...wow he just kissed Dean. Cas sits back on his heels to think about this for a second.

Like he's writing a fucking dissertation:

"I believe my physical attraction for you has reached levels that can no longer be ignored."

"Physical--" Oh goody! Now he's confused and disturbed! "What the hell, Cas, you do not just up and lay one on me out of nowhere!"

why not

"Should I have given you prior warning?"

Edited 2011-11-23 11:18 (UTC)

"That--" Would be what his previous statement implied. "--is not the point."

"The pizza man gave the babysitter no prior warning, yet she seemed to enjoy herself immensely." Even as the pizza man slapped her rear. She seemed to enjoy that part the most, funnily enough.

Dean covers his face with both hands. "You're not allowed to watch porn anymore."

"If this bothers you, you don't have to worry. As I begin to recover my Grace, these urges will diminish in intensity until they are easily ignored."

That right there is normal, prim and proper Cas. As reassuring as it is, Dean actually doesn't like it all that much.

"So I guess once you've got your mojo back, you'll head back upstairs, huh." Deflect, deflect! Change the subject!

"No." Castiel folds his hands in his lap. "My place is here on Earth now, with you and Sam. Heaven is no longer my home."

That didn't have the expected effect.

"But you'll be an angel again, once we pick up all your Grace."

"Yes."

And for his crimes, he'll be hunted and despised and will probably suffer another slow, agonizing Fall.

No he won't. Heads will roll if anyone makes Cas suffer again. Dean included.

"You could just...not pick it up."

"No." Buddy, that option isn't even on the table. "To refuse an advantage like that would be incredibly foolish. I'm picking it up."

But!

"I'm just sayin', you get your mojo back, heaven's gonna know you're here. What if Raphael's still up there and out for your blood? What then? You might have more holy oil, but Sam and me, we're tapped out. And I am not asking Crowley for help."

His knees are starting to hurt from all this sitting on the floor together, but he's not moving yet. Dean has no real idea why it's so important to him that Castiel is protected, it just is, and he needs to make sure that mojo or not, Castiel can be protected.

Cas is quiet for a moment and actually looks away from Dean's face, gaze drifting to the side. He's getting that cornered feeling again, the one that made him deal with Crowley in the first place. "I understand the risks. But first, we need to survive the Leviathan. Our chances increase greatly if I have my strength back."

"Your strength and Sam's Pine-Sol." He snaps his fingers to get Castiel to look at him again. "But I mean it, Cas, don't take any risks you don't have to. Freaks me out, man."

He's trying for jokey nonchalance. It's probably not working.

"I never take risks that I don't feel I have to." He hasn't ever. Not once. Cas is almost the complete opposite from Dean in that every single risk he takes has been weighed, agonized and prayed over, analyzed from ever angle and selected as the best -sometimes only- course of action.

Even if later, it turns out to be the worst, Cas goes into it thinking it's the best.

"Then at least promise me if I tell you to do something--or not do it--you'll listen to me." Dean's not actually expecting that promise. It just feels like the right thing to say. Sort of.

"I can't make that promise."

"Yeah." It's Dean's turn to look away, staring at a spot on the floor a few inches to the right of Castiel's hip. "Yeah, I didn't think you could, but it was worth asking."

"You're too self-sacrificing." Castiel touches Dean's leg to pull his attention back in. "If you were to tell me to run to save myself, to leave you behind in danger, I wouldn't do it."