http://bondsprofoundly.livejournal.com/ (
bondsprofoundly.livejournal.com) wrote in
inonebasket2011-11-19 06:00 pm
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This was not how Castiel had wanted to reunite with Dean Winchester. In fact, now that he was at that point, Cas wasn't sure he'd wanted to reunite with Dean Winchester at all. Guilt sank heavy and uncomfortable in his stomach and he was still getting used to the intensity of feeling.
He'd thought things were confusing as an angel. Twenty times worse with a human ticker pumping away in his chest.
Still, there wasn't exactly an option of running when the only exit was prowled by the Leviathan just beyond the door, held at bay only by the wards Cas had carved into the wood and accented with blood from the gash clotting on his forearm. He checked the shells in his shotgun (useless), the bowie knife against his thigh (also useless) and finally, finally looked over at Dean, not sure what he was going to see.
He'd thought things were confusing as an angel. Twenty times worse with a human ticker pumping away in his chest.
Still, there wasn't exactly an option of running when the only exit was prowled by the Leviathan just beyond the door, held at bay only by the wards Cas had carved into the wood and accented with blood from the gash clotting on his forearm. He checked the shells in his shotgun (useless), the bowie knife against his thigh (also useless) and finally, finally looked over at Dean, not sure what he was going to see.
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Castiel takes them two states over before finally agreeing to stop for the night. The pained look on Dean's face and the way he carefully cradles his arm against his chest may have something to do with it, and as Dean gets the room Castiel disappears only to return to the room with a bottle of Excedrin and another bottle of Jack. He sets both on the table, and trusts Dean not to do anything too stupid with them both.
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He spends his time waiting for alcohol and painkillers to work their magic quietly. This is definitely the worst he's felt in a while and yes, he's missing Cas' angelic healing powers something awful.
"Come on, Cas, sleep. No remembering the stars tonight."
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Retrieving a towel from the bathroom, Cas fills it with ice, wets the scratchy terrycloth just enough to make it damp and twists it closed. He sits on the edge of the bed and pulls Dean's arm into his lap, resting the ice on the center of the bruise.
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He hisses when Cas applies ice to the bruise, but he's had plenty of experience icing hurts and doesn't yank his arm away. Really, they should have done this yesterday, but better late than never, right?
"You hear me, Cas? Sleep."
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Cas isn't budging and if Dean wants him to sleep this minute he'll have to knock him out. If he can't heal Dean with his mojo, then he's going to do what he can. Sometimes the emotional exhaustion needs to be treated before the physical.
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Big bruise. Whatever. Dean's had worse.
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"Don't."
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Dean blinks up at him, confused and tired and just ready for the day to be over already. "Don't what? Don't sleep? I thought that was the point of us getting this damn room."
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What is even going on? Man, and he thought Cas was hard to understand when he was still an angel.
Screw it. Dean rolls back onto his side. He's going to sleep.
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No. Before, as an angel, what he felt for Dean had transcended the physical; Jimmy's body, while it had needs of its own, had been more a container than his. With Castiel's Grace, it hadn't wanted for anything.
Now, though.
Cas runs the tap and washes his face quickly, not bothering to pat it dry. He closes his eyes, feels the water drip down his neck and wet the collar of his T-shirt, feels it stick his eyelashes together and creep through the scruffy beginnings of a beard on his cheeks, chin and throat. Calm.
Thankful that Dean hadn't tried to press the issue, Castiel emerges from the bathroom. Hopefully Dean is already out, because as Cas removes his boots he decides to take the floor just to be safe and curls up on his side, back tucked up against the side of the mattress.
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He reaches down to ruffle Cas' hair. "Hey. C'mon, we talked about this. Floor's not for sleepin'."
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